4.5 Steps to Help Your People Loudly Stay

Recently, I wrote about Quiet Quitting and its cousin, Job Hugging — people staying in jobs they don’t love to avoid uncertainty.

The better alternative? Helping your people Loudly Stay — to choose to be part of your organization because they’re engaged, connected to what they do, and feel valued.

If job-hugging is about fear, loudly staying is about connection. It’s about creating an environment where people stay because they want to, not because they have to.

The good news is you don’t need a vast budget or cultural overhaul to start. Here are four (and a half!) practical steps that work in any business — including law firms — to build a culture of people who Loudly Stay.

1) Learn What Truly Matters

As Anaïs Nin said, ‘We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.’

I am often reminded of this quote when working with clients and candidates trying to align misconceptions created by natural miscommunication. We all process what we hear through our own filter, and often this distorts reality. In hiring and management, we need to empathize – engagement isn’t just about what is accurate or true to you; it’s about understanding how it feels for your people.

I’m also reminded of this truth every time I hear someone talk about managing a different generation — especially you, Baby Boomer Bob.

People engage when they believe in why they're here and feel heard

Poll your associates or team members: Start by asking—simply and sincerely—what matters to them. Questions should focus on six key areas:

1) Getting to know them as a person

2) Work experience and role clarity

3) Growth goals and development

4) Culture and connection

5) Meaning and motivation

6) Long-term thinking.

Some examples of questions include: goals and what they perceive as obstacles to those goals. Why do they enjoy working here? What’s not working? What kind of work energizes them the most? How do they prefer to be mentored? What do they need from you in terms of support? The key is to listen (just like last week’s post on listening for sales) and to be engaged fully and authentically.

Then do the same for your senior team or partners.

I prefer to sit down, in person, to have these conversations in a casual setting.

If your team is too large or you want to set broad baselines to start conversations, you can use a survey. These surveys don’t need to be long — the keys are anonymity and follow-up. Show that you listened and acted on at least some of the feedback and explain the why when you cannot act on it.

A Harvard Business Review study found that organizations that regularly seek feedback experience an average of 20% lower turnover. Listening fosters a sense of belonging, even when not every idea can be put into action.

While you’re asking, go beyond policies — ask how people best do their best work. A little flexibility or autonomy can go a long way.

2. Keep Recruiting Your Star Players

Retention and engagement aren’t just about reducing turnover and job-hugging — they’re about fostering connection.

Get to know your people personally. Ask about their weekend. Share a little about your own. Be appropriately vulnerable — because people don’t just work for companies, they work for people.

Show appreciation often and make it specific: “Your prep on that client pitch made the difference.” Recognition is one of the most significant predictors of belonging — a core driver of retention in recent Gallup and ADP studies.

Coach and develop your top performers. In every engagement survey I’ve ever seen, training and mentorship rank in the top three reasons people stay.

And if you can afford it, reward excellence unexpectedly — a small bonus, an extra day off, or a handwritten note can make someone feel truly seen.

3. Hire and Align for Fit

People loudly stay where their strengths and your culture align. Skills can be taught. Core traits rarely change.

The above listening meetings, solid behavior-based interviewing, and, when appropriate, testing can help you develop a template of the key personality traits your top performers share. To be clear, you are not hiring people with the same personalities; instead, you are focusing on several core traits and values that can be directly linked to their success in your organization.  This can become a guide for future hiring.

At The Advocates and TLSS, we do this through in-depth client interviews and our Chronological Behavior-Based Interviews (CBI), which identify the traits and motivators that drive long-term success for our clients and, of course, ourselves.

That’s why employees placed through us stay, on average, two-thirds longer than traditional hires. Fit isn’t fluff — it’s the foundation of retention.

4. Listen When They Leave (Exit Interviews That Matter)

Every exit is a story — learn from it before it repeats.

Exit interviews often get dismissed as checkbox exercises, but when done well, they’re one of the most valuable data sources you have. The key is who asks the questions.

Have them conducted by someone with authority to make a change or by a neutral outside party. Then share a few takeaways internally — transparency builds trust.

Ask short, caring questions:

• What could we have done differently to keep you?
• When did you first think about leaving?
• What advice would you give us to make this a better place to work?

And don’t just stop with the person leaving — talk to their colleagues and supervisors. Every departure affects the group that stays.

4½. Manage Negativity — Protect the Energy

One disengaged voice can quiet an entire team.

When people are unhappy — whether because they can’t fully meet the expectations of their role, don’t enjoy the work, or feel misaligned with the organization’s culture — they tend to share those feelings. Ideally, the conversations and meetings outlined above help surface those concerns early.

When employees express frustration directly to you, that’s healthy. It creates open dialogue and a chance to learn and improve. The key is to address those feelings thoughtfully and quickly before they spread or harden into broader negativity.

If the behavior continues, step into a coaching mode to clarify expectations and explore solutions. And if that still doesn’t work and departure becomes the only option, handle it with respect and empathy.

Never downplay the loss of that person. Even if it’s true that they “weren’t a fit,” saying it aloud can send a chilling signal to those who remain.

Bottom Line

It’s not about perks or pay — it’s about purpose, fit, and connection.

Leaders build workplaces where people loudly stay when they listen with curiosity, act on feedback, show appreciation, and align people’s strengths with the work they love.

The most effective cultures aren’t accidental – they’re built one candid conversation at a time.

What are some of the questions you have asked that helped you better understand someone? What are you doing to help your people loudly stay?